Today I made a stop at a gas station to pick up some provisions for my day and I was being rung out by a very nondescript young man whom looked like every other person you could meet on the street. As he was processing my sale, he observantly noticed my pentacle ring and actually said, "I really like your ring."
I graciously accepted the compliment, however, I found myself at a loss as how to respond. Here I was at this guy's work and even though he initiated the comment, I was not comfortable accepting responsibility for outing someone especially while at their job.
So, I took to innuendo to see if this person was Pagan or merely admiring my taste in jewelry. I looked at him and told him that I had a matching one that I kept close to my heart chakra. He smiled and stared at me blankly, oblivious to my meaning so I paid for my things and was on my merry. The thing of it is, this whole exchange made me start to think, how do we as a community recognize each other in passing without betraying the whole ideal of "To Know, To Dare, To Keep Silent"?
We live in a world where Paganism and Earth based religions are on the rise. Matter of fact, some experts claim that it is one of the fastest growing religions in the United States, so it is logical to assume that you have a pretty good chance of meeting a fellow Witch, Warlock, Pagan, or Heathen as you saunter throughout your day. The only problem is that not all of these people are out of the Broom Closet, and by putting them on the spot publicly might endanger their mundane life.
The Broom Closet is a term that was stolen from the Gay community to describe just how open a person is about their magickal life to the mundane world. So for an example, I am out of the Broom Closet; I am very open about my experiences and beliefs and I have no problem in defending who and what I am. So someone who is still in the Broom Closet would have issues about being open about their Path either for personal reasons or for socioeconomic reasons.
Because there is a lot of miss information about Paganism and Magick in general, there are a lot of unjustified stereotypes and prejudices out there to deal with. I'm sure that most of us have heard a lot of these before. Witches put curses on people and eat small babies and other ridiculousness that is the byproduct of a world obsessed with half truths and full fictions. It is these stereotypes that can make it very difficult for someone to live a life in "normal" society with things like jobs and careers being threatened by closed minded people.
Under these strains, I can completely understand why someone would want to live in the Broom Closet. Without sounding demeaning to those in the Broom Closet, it is easier. You don't have to put your beliefs on display for others to pick apart using logic from the Spanish Inquisition. It also doesn't give people to be hesitant around you for your own personal beliefs. Those in the Broom Closet tend to have the opinion that their spiritualism is their spiritualism and they will share it with those they want to on their terms. I can respect that. However, what happens when you meet someone who is attempting to connect with you on a common religious level.
I am a fan of letting that person make the contact. Let them ask you questions and respond to them honestly, however, match their tone and volume to help them feel safe and comfortable speaking to you on a subject that they typically don't speak of on a regular basis.
Once they feel completely comfortable with speaking to you, suggest an alternative method of communication to continue your dialogue. You might have community resources at your disposal that this person does not. Providing an alternative place or way to share what you know can make the person you’re speaking with much more comfortable.
Basically, you want to provide a safe harbor for this person. There is a reason that they decided to reach out to you and chances are they are taking a risk to do so. Maybe they need help or are looking to explore a connection to the Pagan community and you can be their in. Take the time to care about this person's need for anonymity; discretion can be the better part of valor.
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